It only takes a moment to become friends, to fall in love with someone. An open look into another person's face, to give a welcoming smile or nod, that can be enough to connect my heart to a new friend. Sometimes such a meeting is followed by a slow building of confidences, stories, personal histories as we search for and forge connections and commonalities. But even if we don't have much time together our minds have touched and we know each other, know we will always share friendship.
In 1995 I went to the UN World Conference for Women, NGO Forum near Beijing, China. My goal was to make a friend from every continent. I walked with my heart open. One morning, as I was going quickly between workshop offerings I passed a woman who was also walking with her heart and eyes open. I recognized her as a person I wanted to get to know, to build a friendship with and turned to follow and catch up with her. She had also turned to find me! We spent five minutes sharing a little about ourselves, then traded contact information, embraced and said goodbye. My life has always been richer for that time spent together. I wrote several letters and received one from her. But she was from Libya, at that time a country labeled as an American enemy, a forbidden place by my government. My letters and hers were censored. Yet I still carry her in my heart.
This summer we have visited many friends. I felt loved and honored by spending time with each of them and building on our earlier connections.
Most recently we stayed with Joon and Shim (and their daughters Shina and Dona) who we first got to know through Steve's work as an English as a Second Language teacher in Brattleboro, Vermont. When they moved to Vancouver, British Columbia from Brattleboro we stayed in touch and even visited on an earlier trip west. Then we moved to Mexico, changed our email and Joon changed his email. We lost each other. We tried the old phone numbers, we tried asking mutual friends for the new contact information without any luck. We were lost to each other. Then one day as I was working in the garden in Papagayos Steve burst out of the house with wonderful news. Shina had invited him to be a friend on Facebook, we could connect. What a joy to hear again from our friends.
Last week when we arrived at their door Shim said, “You look just the same.” She said it in clear English which had not been available to her the last time we visited five years ago. The girls had grown, of course, from giggling grade-schoolers into thoughtful middle and high school students. Both are now published writers. Shina showed us her portfolio of art work; Dona gave us a tour of her Facebook page with photos of many friends and adventures.
Joon pressed many books on us to read during our visit. He has spent the past five years developing the Creative Writing for Children Society. One book held Shina's story called “Facefriends,” an account of using the online social networking service to locate her best friend from second grade. I laughed out loud at her list of details from living in southern Vermont and wept tears of joy at her reunion with her dear friend.
One evening after a dinner of delicious traditional Korean food Joon announced, “Tonight I will take you to meet our friends, Shawn and Jo Ann.” He had us go up to their neighbor's front door, only two block from their house, and knock. He coached us to inquire where to find Joon and Shim. Shawn just laughed and said, “They are hiding by the garage door!” We all laughed. These four Korean Canadians clearly enjoy each other's company.
Jo Ann, round faced and lively, told of their surprise reunion. Shawn and Jo Ann were taking a week of vacation from their home in Winnipeg, Manitoba to Vancouver, B. C. and had decided to spend Sunday morning at the Korean Church. But it had been noisy and she felt restless. Jo Ann decided to leave the service and go to the washroom. On the way she heard someone call her name. In this strange place, so many kilometers from home, who could possibly know her? She turned and saw a grownup version of a girl she had sung with in high school choir back in Seoul, Korea. Shim rushed to her and they had embraced and haven't let their friendship go since then.
Joon and Shim have plans to move again this summer. We promised to stay in touch and sorely wish we could give then a hand with packing and moving, but we have our plans to go to Alaska.
As we head out on the road again, my mind goes to my Libyan friend. In 2004 our countries naturalized relationships, opening the way for trade and communication again. I hope someday we will have a surprise reunion, the chance to cook traditional foods for each other, to sing and walk the same path together for a while. To fall more deeply in love and smile as we pose for pictures together.
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